When I picked up The Year of Less by Cait Flanders at the library, my friend at the front desk told me she read the first part, but only leafed through the rest. “Minimalism is nice, I guess, but not for me,” she said, as she handed the book to me.

I wish she had read it all the way to the end, and will probably tell her so when I return it. It’s easy to read this as a primer for quitting shopping, saving more, and consuming less - and it is all those things - but it’s more than that: it’s an honest account of a hard year and Cait’s slow stripping away of the crutches she used to numb her feelings instead of facing and learning from them.

What I like best about this book is that Cait never pretends that minimalism or sobriety or mindfulness “cured” her and now life is tidy and perfect and wonderful; instead, this book is a sweet reminder of a sometimes bitter truth: life is about learning the same lessons about our own worth over and over again, often without realizing they’re the same because the packaging is different.

It’s harder to learn life’s big lessons when we armour ourselves with things that stop us from facing them head-on. When we drink or shop or eat to numb the feelings, we don’t let ourselves do the hard work of learning that we - all by ourselves - are enough.

Who should read it?

This is a book for you if you’ve gone through something hard for a long enough time that you’ve created positive change, thought you were “cured” and then were surprised by another hard thing, another struggle with wanting to quit, and the same lesson you thought you’d learned already being shoved in your face again.

If you’re feeling sensitive to some kind of pain in your life, are willing to examine your reactions to that pain, and will ask yourself “why?” frequently enough to learn from the answers, pick up The Year of Less. You’ll feel like you have a friend doing the same thing alongside you.

If you only have time to read one chapter:

Chapter 9: March: Lightening Up

This is the corner chapter, after some of the most difficult days of February, where Cait let’s TV and food stand in as fEeLiNgS substitutes for a while. As she watches herself, she knows that turning to easy comforts instead of putting in the hard work of facing the real issues just prolongs the hurt. And this is where you see her reflective IQ really shine.

If you only have time to read one paragraph:

The stuff I wanted the ideal version of myself to use was everything I had once bought in hopes that it would somehow make my life or myself better. There were books I thought smart Cait should read, clothes I thought professional Cait would wear, projects I thought creative Cait could tackle. Classic novels, little black dresses, scrapbook materials, and more. At one point, I’d put thousands of dollars on my credit cards for this stuff - stuff I purchased with every intention of using, but only because I told myself it would somehow help. I wasn’t good enough, but this stuff would make me better. I wanted to read, wear, and do everything so I could become the person I thought I should be. Having these items in my home proved it was possible. I would do it all one day, and become a better person one day. This time, one day never came.

Chapter 8: February: Letting Go of the Future, pages 117-118

If you only have time to read one sentence:

Who are you buying this for: the person you are or the person you want to be?

Chapter 8: Letting Go of the Future, page 118

Halloween has passed us by, but there are still some slightly daunting things to contemplate throughout the month of November, including talking to your parents about money, what really happens when interest rates rise, and how disclosure isn’t necessarily the solution to reducing conflict that the financial services industry had hoped it would be.

After that, you can relax a bit into self-contemplation, with Michael Kitces’ thoughts on how your birth year impacts your investment experience, John Stapleton’s discussions of biases regarding basic income, and the questions that comedy legend, Martin Short asks himself each year. If you have a little time when you’re done, grab a copy of your car insurance policy, and find out if you have everything you need. 

What to do when your parents haven’t planned

From Julia Chung

You’ve learned to separate your self-worth from your net worth. But your parents? It’s possible they haven’t. This could be a really touchy subject. You’re not sure if you should bring it up, and if you should, how

Read the full article here.

How Your Birth Year Shapes Your Investment Experience

From Michael Kitces

Come for the simple explanation of sequence risk, stay for its generational impact on your investment outlook.

Read the full article here.

Martin Short’s Nine Categories for Self Evaluation

From Ben Carlson

Be like Martin. Ask yourself these nine questions this year - and every year.

Read the full article here.

You can read this month's entire list below: and browse through past lists here.

Everyone loves a basic income – why worry about its pedigree? | John Stapleton

Basic income: apparently,

“unless you inherit it, marry into it, pay into it, or win it, current policy dictates that you shouldn’t have one.”

The Unintended Consequences of Disclosure of Conflicts of Interest | George Loewenstein, PhD, Sunita Sah, MD, PhD, Daylian M. Cain, PhD

How disclosure doesn’t act as intended (to warn prospective buyers of conflicted advice) because we have a deep-seated desire to not seem rude (PDF).

Rube Goldberg | Morgan Housel

Here’s what really happens when interest rates rise: (prepare yourself)

How Much Car Insurance Do I Really Need? | Adam Wagman

Ontario residents, do future you a favour and pull out your car insurance policy to find out how much coverage you have, then call your broker and find out how much it would cost to increase.

Just in time to cozy up in a comfy chair with whatever scalding hot drink you prefer, I present to you a few reads that got me thinking this month. They are loosely grouped around themes of cash flow and money management (like this pair on creating a financial routine and ways couples share money), investing (like this pair on the seductive and false allure of private equity and the seven Ps of portfolio managers), and...other stuff (here’s where the “pairs thesis” breaks down), with a piece on preparing your finances for parenthood, a nerd’s paradise worth of infographics from Statistics Canada, and the critical and unpredictable factors of portfolio ruin in retirement, plus a few more gems you can find below.

Retirement math: Why you may need more (or less) than you think 

From Jason HeathOur friend and fellow advice-only planner, Jason Heath on some of the big mistakes people make with their retirement planning like misunderstanding life expectancy, ignoring the impact of inflation, and overestimating the income tax they’ll have to pay.Read the full article here.

The Cognitive Burden of Poverty

From Evan NesterakSomething for policy makers to think long and hard about when designing poverty reduction strategies:

While, few policies take cognitive demand into account, research shows that relatively simple interventions that reduce cognitive demand–reminders, help with forms and planning, and built in defaults (5) – could be the difference between whether or not a program designed to help the poor works for or against the people it is trying to help.

Read the full article here.

A Financial Hack to Determine Affordability and Best Outcomes

From Doris BellandI love the idea of “trying on” a major change to your cash flow and have recommended it to clients many times in the past.

If you want to test affordability for pretty much anything...spend six months acting as if you had bought the item...then sock away the difference in cash.

Read the full article here.

You can read this month's entire list below:

“Optimal” Asset Location, Applied | Justin Bender

Without that time machine, you may need to accept your inability to predict future effective tax rates, expected returns or asset class investment income distributions. What then?

Happy, Healthy Economy | Livia Gershon

The role of government is, in fact, to promote the wellbeing of citizens. In economic terms, growth is only worth something if it improves people’s lives.

The Critical Factors of Portfolio Ruin Aren't Predictable | Dirk CottonA rare and welcome overview of sequence risk vs probability of dying from Dirk Cotton.

For a given sequence of returns, the probability of prematurely depleting our savings increases if we expect to live longer or spend more, start out with a smaller portfolio, receive better average market returns or experience less volatility of those returns.

So You Want to Have a Baby in 5 Years? | Julia Chung, Kathryn Mandelcorn & Sandi Martin

The last thing we want is for you to fumble through an EI application in the middle of the night with a crying baby beside you, or fall for a group RESP scam er, scheme because you wanted to do right for your kid and just didn’t know any better. Let’s put your amazing and soon-to-be-lost ability to focus to work and prepare your wallet for parenthood.

Why Doesn’t The Stock Market Care About the News? | Ben CarlsonCome for the fascinating chart, stay for the analysis.

Just this year alone [US] stocks have shrugged off trade wars, political instability, emerging market crises, interest rate hikes by the Fed and I could go on.Any rational person would be right to ask: Why doesn’t the stock market care about all this news?

How Many Transactions Does The Average Person Make Per Day? | Owen Winkelmolen

This was obvious (once Owen made me think about it) and fascinating.

How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money? | Kitty

I love a good couple money story (evidence here and here) and thankfully our favourite Bitches have lots to choose from.

Keep Things Simple: Create A Routine For Your Finances | Owen Winkelmolen

More couple money: how financial planner Owen and his partner stick to a four month money routine.

When picking a portfolio manager or advisor, remember the 'Seven Ps' | Tom Bradley

There are no guarantees when picking an investment professional or team, but these factors are better predictors of future returns than what investors often use — a casual recommendation, glossy brochure or good recent returns.

Delusions and Entitlement | Josh Brown

Are you being pitched an exclusive investment? Read this before you fall head over heels with the idea of private equity.

Now that summer is officially over (boo! hisss!) it’s time for one of my all-time favourite activities: using what I’ve learned about myself to make life better - for myself, my family, and my clients. (I swear I’m fun at parties.)

An interesting development in the field of intelligence is the concept of reflective intelligence, sometimes referred to as “mindware” by its champion David Perkins. Reflective intelligence is our ability to self-manage, self-monitor, and self-modify, and is different from neural intelligence (which determines the speed and efficiency of our brains) and experiential intelligence (which is context-specific, accumulated knowledge).

Here’s an example: over the summer, Itook Wednesdays off to spend with my family and generally laze about in the sun. My previous schedule (Mondays and Tuesdays for meetings, Wednesdays and Thursdays for focused planning work, and Fridays for overflow work, writing, and internal projects) had to shift to accommodate the change, and Tuesday became a focus day with meetings shifting to Fridays instead.

Without fail, my weekly reflection included at least one (raving) comment about how easy it was to focus on my planning days. The lesson: a “free” day to work on internal projects in the middle of the week instead of the end is the right pace for me to maintain my focus and creativity (and sanity, if we’re being honest).

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown is one of those few books that I want to keep multiple copies of, so I can press it into people’s hands and say, “Just read it, trust me.”

Brown, if you’ve never heard of her, is a research professor who studies vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame using grounded theory methodology. She’s deeply interested in wholehearted living, which she describes as:

Engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

Daring Greatly has nothing and everything to do with money. Nothing, because the research isn’t obviously tied to money; in fact, you won’t find words like “money, financial, debt, or spending” in the index at all. Everything, because the choices we make out of shame and scarcity instead of vulnerability and wholeheartedness are often ones we make with our wallets.

We’re ashamed and afraid: ashamed that we don’t have our sh*t together so we can afford the nice cars, clothes, houses, and kids’ birthday parties like everyone else in our circle can; afraid to be vulnerable with the people who matter about what’s really going on. Afraid to be judged.

Frankly, so many of the people I talk to have been so marked by shame that they’ve lost hope in their ability to recover. Their responses to questions with strictly numerical answers, like “how much does your life cost?” and “do you have any liabilities?” are almost always prefaced with words that indicate they feel shame and guilt about the answer. “I should track my spending” or “I did something stupid” for example.

These are the people who have overcome their shame enough to talk to me! I suspect that for every one person willing to be vulnerable and ask for help, there are a thousand who have been made to feel such shame over their finances - from the personal finance world most of all - that they’d rather chew glass than get financially naked with anyone ever again.

Who should read it?

Every single human should read this book. If you’ve ever let shame make decisions on your behalf (and, spoilers - that’s everyone) this is the book to teach you how to start overcoming it.

If you only have time to read one chapter:

Chapter 3: Understanding and Combating Shame

Everything that follows this chapter builds on the foundation that shame is universal, debilitating, pushes us to make poor decisions, and must be overcome before any of us can lead wholehearted lives and enjoy healthy relationships (including with money).

If you only have time to read one paragraph:

“We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying. Researchers do not find that shame correlates with positive outcomes at all - there are no data to support that shame is a helpful compass for good behavior. In fact, shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.”

(Chapter 3: Understanding and Combating Shame, page 73)

If you only have time to read one sentence:

“If we don’t come to terms with our shame, our struggles, we start believing that there’s something wrong with us - that we’re bad, flawed, not good enough - and even worse, we start acting on those beliefs.”

(Chapter 3: Understanding and Combating Shame, page 61.)