The Power of Confusion

The point of this post: the world of personal finance can be as confusing as a room full of five-year-olds playing soccer, and the financial industry needs to stop pretending that it's not.

Yesterday was my oldest son's first day of soccer. 

It sounded like insanity, and - at its most organized - it looked…well, it looked like a room full of children.

My son was sitting beside me, crying. He didn't want to play, although - not fifteen minutes before - he was full of beans, excited to be there, and looking forward to playing soccer.

What happened between the thought of playing soccer and the fact of playing soccer to upset him so much?

Confusion happened.

My son has never played soccer before, except on a wide open field with me and his three year old brother. His idea of "playing soccer" involved running as fast as you can, picking dandelions, and generally acting like a five year old in a wide open space that happened to also contain a ball you can kick if you feel like it.

Last night, "playing soccer" suddenly became something you did with a group of kids you've never met and aren't introduced to, being coached by a grown-up who doesn't know your name, and playing by rules you've never heard of but everyone else seems to be familiar with.

If I sound like a disgruntled parent, I'm not. The organizers and coaches are busy people who volunteer their own scarce time, and I'm grateful to them. I'm upset with myself because I didn't anticipate his confusion and explain what to expect.

There's a certain kind of person who - when presented with a game to which they don't know the rules and don't have the skills - will run onto the field with enthusiasm and (hopefully) figure it out and develop the skills as they play.My son's not one of those people. Frankly, neither am I. He and I are people who would like to sit on the sidelines and get the game figured out before committing to playing it.

When it comes to money, most of us - by necessity - have to start playing whether we know the rules or not. Money starts moving through our hands before we have it really figured out. We hear people in the financial industry yelling at us from the sidelines to Start Saving! Borrow Money for School! Open an RRSP! Buy a House! and very few of us take a time out to get familiar with the rules before swerving over to follow whatever instructions we've been given.

Following instructions blindly isn't the way to get to where you want to go. Oh, you might accidentally find yourself living within your means, or with enough money to put a hefty downpayment on a house, but it's unlikely.

It's not rocket science, this money thing, but unless you take a time out to get a solid grip on what you want to accomplish on the field, you're going to find yourself sitting on the sidelines with your head in your hands, upset because the whole thing is just so overwhelming.

Don't let it be. Tune out the random yelling from the sidelines, find a coach who knows how to explain money in a way that you'll understand, and start playing with confidence.

Come on. It'll be fun.